Author Topic: Moving Out  (Read 652 times)

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Offline JrDude

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Moving Out
« on: April 15, 2012, 04:10:30 AM »
As some of you know, my Grandmother, aka Gramma, aka my mother for 19 years, passed away over a year ago. Since then, my sister, sister's boyfriend, and I have been living in the house my gramma owned. Promised to have it for at least a year, it is now past a year and we are going to be kicked out very soon. I have been told either June or July (I remember the J, I don't remember which J), we have to be out of here.
Now, I have been under care for 19 years, spoiled by what my gramma could offer, and partially taken care of by my older sister for the past year. Trying to be independent, I am still pretty dependent. I have many options of what I could do, and I need some opinions to help me understand what I would be getting myself into. Most of you are older than me, and I'm pretty sure a lot are not living with their parents anymore, so I call to those mainly.

Option 1:
[spoiler]I could live with my aunt and uncle. I'd get a room to myself and probably a very small rent. They have 3 kids, each strange in their own special way. I've lived around them my whole life, in fact my gramma moved us to where we are now to stay close to them. Problem is, I would probably still be partially dependent, and unintentionally take advantage of the situation (I'm trying to be independent and grown up). I'd also get not a lot of privacy, and be unable to bring many friends over for much.[/spoiler]
Option 2:
[spoiler]Apartment. Ever since I got a job, I've been looking into getting a roommate. Since I completely failed, now I'd be living alone. Which is fine with me. Being alone, I could learn to take care of myself, have friends over whenever for whatever, and do some things I've been wanting to try but couldn't with others living with me. Problem is, rent. It would be $1K+, and then there's food, possibly heat, electricity, internet, water, and whatever else isn't included in the rent. All that is a lot alone, even with a job.[/spoiler]
Option 3:
[spoiler]Rent a room. This is basically a combination of the 2. I'd be living in a room some people are renting out. I'd get privacy, and a smaller rent. I'd also be able to be pretty independent since they don't know me and won't have to do poop. But then I'm living with strangers, can't have people over for much, and only having a room to myself.[/spoiler]
Option 4:
[spoiler]Live with my friend. Through work, I recently made a friend, with my worst enemy, who happens to be gay. But that's all another story. He offered to let me live with him and his family, though I've known him for about 6 months, he and his family already love me as if we'd been friends since 1st grade or something. Odd, but not a problem at all. He lives with his parents and a brother. I haven't seen all of his house, but I think I saw enough to where I think my room would be an upstairs living room, and my bed a couch. Maybe a room I never got showed, but I don't know. He says I'd have to do just about everything myself, and I'd be getting a small rent. So I'd be independent with a smaller rent. Some problems mixed with the good part, but another problem would be the fact that I couldn't really do much with other friends, especially female ones.[/spoiler]
Option 5:
[spoiler]Move into a house with my sister and her boyfriend. Normally, my sister was gonna move in with my literal mom's best friend, who lives close to the school my sister goes to. But recently some things happened, and apparently my sister and her boyfriend are buying a house in the area. She says she wouldn't be able to afford it, unless someone would rent a room, and she'd prefer me over a stranger. I'd get my own room, I'd get to stay with the pets I love, and I'd have a whole house I could explore freely since it would basically be mine too. Rent is basically half of what she has to pay for bills, half of the groceries she buys, and a couple other things I can't think of right now, which is under the amount for apartment rent. Problem is, she doesn't like me having my friends over because of this and that, me and her are CONSTANTLY at each other's throats, I still have problems with her boyfriend, and I'd still have plenty of dependence towards her, as she would probably buy the groceries and do my laundry, and some other poop that I feel I should do myself. I also feel moving away from her would be able to strengthen our bond, as we've been living together for 20 years and are tired of each other.[/spoiler]


So some opinions would be greatly appreciated. You guys are not going to be my decision, but hopefully help me see some things I don't see right now, and hopefully help me ultimately make my decision when I need to.
I almost feel I am sharing too much, but whatever. It's not like any of you even know the city I live in, let alone the state. And this isn't the topic so don't even challenge it.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2012, 04:17:27 AM by JrDude 益 »


Offline Zero

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Re: Moving Out
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2012, 10:09:04 AM »
Option 5 imo

Just make sure you do what you can to go above and beyond that way you're not feeling as dependent as you are(like buying some of your own food and personal poop, etc.)


Offline Mona

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Re: Moving Out
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2012, 10:31:57 AM »
I'd aim for living alone in an apartment, but if it's too much of a strain financially then the best option would probably be living with family. Renting a room sounds like it could be uncomfortable, and staying with your friend would only be a temporary solution, I'd think.

Offline Kayo

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Re: Moving Out
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2012, 12:24:14 PM »
Alright, well I'm younger than you so I can't give any personal experience stuff, but I think getting your own apartment would be the best option. Your other options all consistently state that the downsides are the lack of privacy, and the difficulty of having friends over.

Now I'm not entirely sure how old you are but according to what you say you're at the very least 19. I think at that age it's probably the best to try becoming fully independent, which can only really happen when you have your own apartment. As far as the cost goes, you'll probably get pretty bored being alone all the time so a second job really wouldn't hurt. It would help pay for rent and all that jazz, and give you another productive thing to do with your time.

I'm not really liking the sound of option 5, since living with someone whom you apparently fight with a lot won't be the easiest thing to do. If I were you I'd really rather not have to deal with that kind of tension. I'd take paying more for my own place than living in a high-tension home any day.

Regardless of what option you go with, I still wish you good luck.
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Offline Dog Food

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Re: Moving Out
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2012, 01:39:51 PM »
If this is still up for discussion...

I'm the same age as you and going through college. So in the summer months I just go home to my family. But if I didn't go home, my other option would be to rent an apartment with some friends who are staying in Boston instead of going home as well. And in the future, after I graduate, I have to think about what my living arrangements will be, since I won't be going home to my family like in the past.

So, that being said, based on the options you gave me, I would go with three. Two, I think is still the best option, but you need a roommate to do it. I don't think it's a good idea for you to live alone right now, and you'll be struggling with cash for a majority of the time you spend there. It would be stressful and just not fun. Plus, you aren't quite independent enough for that yet (based on what you're saying). Try harder to find a roommate. Put out ads, ask around. But if you really can't find anyone, abandon the idea completely.

Three is the closest thing to two. You can still have friends over and all that, it'll just be confined to your room. You can always go to their places or find a hangout spot that isn't at someone's house. But the chance of having lady friends over is much better here than it would be in any of the other options (minus two, but the money problems outweighs the privacy and freedom). I think you should get to know the strangers you would potentially be living with. Have an interview with them, ask about what you're allowed and not allowed, etc. If it's a good fit, take it.

Living with your sister would be the most comfortable option. But I think it'd be easier if you lived separate from her (for all the reasons you claimed) and visited whenever you needed a break from the hard-knock-life of independence. She's a good safety net, but a constant living environment might prove too stressful and suffocating.

This is how I would go about it if I was in a similar situation as you. But anyway, good luck and keep us posted on what you decide.
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