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Unnatural Selection

Started by L10, January 22, 2010, 02:54:30 PM

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L10



The song made me think of this thread idea, but it's not about this song so I'll get to the point.

Freshman year when we were learning about natural selection my teacher had gone tough a list of things and if you were in that category you went to the back of the class for the lesson(wasn't long). So like she would say: "If you parents went though major surgery before you were born" or "If you had major surgery" or "You had a normally life threatening disease" are just a couple of examples I can think of off the top of my head. And if you were in any of those categories you were considered dead because without modern technology you would have been plucked out by natural selection.

tl;dr How many times should you have died?

For me:
1. My dad had ribs removed when he was a kid, that makes me non-existent from the very start.

2. I had a growth removed from my head while I was still less that a year old. I would have died there.

3. I got Pneumonia in third grade, so died then.

4. In the summer going into 5th grade I got e-coli so, I died then too.

5. And actually Freshman year I had a REALLY bad asthma attack, so I definitely would have died from that.


So yeah, I died 5 time, probably more times because of less dangerous asthma attacks, so yeah. I am a menace to natural selection.
0o!f

Tsumaru

1. My dad had a few thousand volts sent through his chest and out his leg fixing a CB radio tower.

2.  I jumped off of my dresser when I was 2 and split my head open.

3.  I missed getting hit by a car by a few inches coming off of the school bus in 5th grade.

I'm sure there's more.

Allegretto

1, 2 and 3. I have cracked my head open 3 times. So derp.

I am the offspring of too very very drug addicted parents so then.

My step dad tried to drown me

I had swine cancer

Many more.

Lotos

Premature baby.  I should have been dead right there, whether the topic applies to that or not.

Had a hernia when I was a baby.

Ran into a chair as a kid, split lip.

Depression would have killed me long ago.

Dog Food

Health-wise, I've always done well. I'm not a big fan of medicine, either. So I usually just go with the pain and just wait for it to stop on its own, rather than attempting to help it along.

Besides stupid things, like diving in front of a truck in NYC to grab something I dropped in the middle of the street (my mom grabbed my sleeve and pulled me back just in time, with whatever I had dropped clutched in my hand triumphantly). Or nearly drowning from rough waves when body surfing (that's why you have friends come along, so they can fish you out), I doubt I would have died in the past.

Unless my parents went through some sort of major surgery that I never knew about. But my dad came from a poor family in Lebanon, so he would never have been able to afford something like that (when he had a tapeworm, he just had to see it through to the end and poop it out). And, as far as I know, my mom was a healthy kid.

So thanks natural selection for thinking I'm worthy enough to live.
I get obsessively manic over things. It's a problem.

The Riddler

#5
I'm not sure of anything involving my parents before I was born, but:

1. My mom fell down the stairs while carrying me when I was a baby, but was able to protect me.
2. Almost drowned twice in the same day at a local Water Park when I was very little.
3. I was nearly in three separate devastating car accidents that were stopped at the very last possible second.

Rius

My mom never went to the doctor when she was younger, because they couldn't afford it. So yeah, all of the things that should have gotten her killed and/or fatally injured (jumping off/on moving trains among others) didn't. As for my dad, the only thing I can recall is a bad stomach virus from his early 20s that he had to go to the hospital for. Most of illnesses came after my birth.

As for me... my mom rode the largest wooden roller coaster in the nation while she was pregnant with me... I don't know if that would have caused complications. After my birth, the only time I went to the hospital was to have my tonsils removed, which I don't think counts as major surgery. All of my other injuries, getting hit by vehicles, falling great distances, hanging myself, etc., I recovered from without medical assistance or drugs. So yeah, I'm Made of Iron.

SkyMyl

My dad was chased by his dad with a knife and my mom had third-degree burns when she was a child. They're both perfectly fine now. But, should something have happened to one...

...anyway, I believe I was burned by a stove-top fire once, I almost drowned in a pool, I was separated from my family in Florida, I split my chin open once by falling backwards in a chair, a failed suicide attempt goes here, and

Quote from: Lotos on January 22, 2010, 04:36:20 PM
Depression would have killed me long ago.

Kilroy

Well, my list could go on for a very long time. My grandparents on my mother's side (especially my grandmother) are extremely paranoid. For example, when my mom was 2 years old, she had a high fever. Infants naturally have higher fevers than most adults do, but my grandmother evidently wasn't aware of this (or was panicking too much to realize it, seeing as she's a god darned nurse), and forced the doctor to do something he really shouldn't have. I can't remember the entire story, but basically, she had spinal fluid ejected to test for some extremely rare disease that has a symptom of high fevers (for adults). She survived, obviously, but the procedure itself is extremely painful and dangerous, and she was 2 at the time. My grandparents are insane.

Other than that, I've never really had anything life threatening, and to my knowledge, neither have my grandparents or my parents.
1984 WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN INSTRUCTION NOT MANUAL
"yes you are anusface, but i am better than!!" - taw, steam forums
 FOR NSF MASCOT

Rayquarian

That's funny; we've been talking about evolution through natural selection in Biology.

Of course, natural selection doesn't compute in human ideas and emotion, so naturally, natural selection does not apply to humans.

bluaki

#10
Even as a young child I stayed out of danger. The only event I believe could have been life-threatening without technology is that my birth required a C-section. Various now-minor illnesses may have also been a risk.

Quote from: e^ln(Rayquarian) .5 on January 23, 2010, 06:05:20 PM
That's funny; we've been talking about evolution through natural selection in Biology.

Of course, natural selection doesn't compute in human ideas and emotion, so naturally, natural selection does not apply to humans.
It doesn't apply as much to humans because we've developed ways to counter common death threats, but it still applies to some extent. There are uncured diseases, there are various issues that may cause infertility (although the people may adopt, that still kills their genes there)

Even aside from the ways that humans counter natural selection, cultural selection partially replaces it. Some people are less likely to create children (homosexuality or lower sexual activity), among other factors like being unable to afford a child's upkeep or abortion.

Rorschach

My grandmother missed the boat she was supposed to be taking from Scotland and it turns out that that boat sank.

Mystic

Quote from: Scrimshaw on January 27, 2010, 06:07:34 PM
My grandmother missed the boat she was supposed to be taking from Scotland and it turns out that that boat sank.
Like that one woman who missed her plane, and the plane ended up crashing.

but she ended up dying in a car accident sometime later. FINAL DESTINATION BITCHES

Spud

1. I was coming out the wrong way when I was being born or something like that and a c-section had to be done to save my mother's life and mine.
2. I was poking my head out of the sun roof in the car and it started closing. Got my head back in the car fast enough for it to scrape the sides of my head.

I think that's it. Only thing else that would be considered bad was when I was 4 and I drank a whole bottle of cough syrup. Luckily I threw it all up later. >_>