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Rest In Peace Gramma...

Started by JrDude, March 30, 2011, 03:43:40 AM

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JrDude

Before the longass story, I thought I would tell you that I normally live with my gramma, she took care of me when my parents died. I was 1 when they died, so that is 18 years my forum, I know no other person as a mother other than my grandmother, but since she was my grandmother, I still called her gramma (And not grandma).
Giant amount of text. Summarized version of what happened.
[spoiler]Five nights ago, my gramma and I watched TV together, along with my sister and her boyfriend. Her favorite TV show, and went to bed perfectly fine.
Next day, she went to work and had an Aniurism (Spell check isn't correcting the spelling for me) and went to the hospital.
My sister, her boyfriend and I were quickly informed of this and got there quicker than the ambulance did, which was a bad sign, as the nurses in the hospital were some of the pooptiest nurses, but that's a different story.
She was unconscious from the start.
Ever since then, I spent 90% of my time in the room my gramma was in, talking to her and holding her hand often. 5% of the time I spent in other rooms as the doctors/nurses did things or when I needed a break. The other 5% was spent at home napping or spending time with some family who were concerned. My very large family also visited from around the state and from Washington (state).
Anyway, with little amount of details I will say here, the jackass doctor said "I wouldn't bet my penny on her living through this, because I would lose that penny" which is no way to say she most likely won't make it. Second day, she was in ICU, where she was kept alive on machines. She didn't want to be taken care of by machines, so we unplugged it. She was still being given oxygen through something on her nose, but the breathing had to all be her own. Predicted that she wouldn't last 2 hours. She lasted the night and was soon taken to her own private room.
(Day 3) The first night/morning in the private room. She was connected to a machine that gave her morphine (It wasn't keeping her alive, it was just making the pain she may have been in less painful), 1 mg every hour. We had a wonderful nurse who checked on her and the others in the room very often and helped with anything we may want, but after shift change, we got ultra poopty nurses.
The first one barely checked on her at all, and later in the day she asked "Do you want her to be comfortable?" And everyone is like "Duh you dumbass," though she was answered in a much more polite way. All the adult family taking a break outside the hospital, me my sister and her boyfriend all watched over my gramma. I asked at some point, being tired and worried, I asked in the non-technical way, "Shouldn't you be giving her some food?" And she answers "No, she can't chew like this." Resisting to punch the ninny, I said "Well of course, I mean through a feeding tube," "Oh well no, that will only prolong her life," "What? We aren't trying to let her die, we're trying to make her comfortable" But looking like a kid, she wouldn't listen to me, nor my sister and her boyfriend, as they also look young. My gramma normally had high blood pressure and took medication on it. One point, after they checked her blood pressure, it was shown as high, so we suggested giving her the blood medication. The nurse said "No, she's probably in pain, let me just turn up the morphine level." She was now on 2 mg an hour. Not even an hour later, someone complains that she should take her blood pressure medicine, so what does the nurse do? Of course, raise the morphine level to 3 because she's in pain. A history of high blood pressure can't possibly be the reason for her high blood pressure. My memory is fuzzy, so I don't remember why, but eventually, the morphine level got raised to 4 before enough time could pass for any noticeable things to happen.
Eventually, my uncle makes a return, the one who has the trusted power to decide what is best for her (it has a name, but I don't remember it). He finally says "STOP DRUGGING HER AND FUCKING HELP HER" (Except in a much much nicer way). So, they stopped giving her morphine and eventually had a talk with him. Apparently, when they ask "Do you want her to be comfortable?" We're supposed to say "No" because when they said "comfortable" they meant "comfort care" (Which means Euthanize [spell check won't correct it] her, or kill her with minimal pain). DUDE, Shouldn't hospitals know that we aren't going to be speaking medical school language? We're gonna mean "feeding" when we say "food" and "comfort" when we say "COMFORT." She was going to get morphine only when she looked like she was in pain (she made faces when she was).
But it was too late, she ended up being on 4 mg for a long ass time and was too drugged up to cough (coughing allowed nurses to easily suck out snot out of her mouth, which was often done), which messed up her breathing, which put her in a bad state.
Next night/morning, shift change again, so new nurse. Shitty. My gramma was still in a bad state from being drugged so much, and ended up breathing harder and faster, and having all that snot in her throat, she sounded like she was going to drown. The nurse only did what she was told to do, she didn't help my gramma at all, not even when she was coughing up a bunch of fluids. When my aunt was cleaning it up, she assumed things and started saying some religious things, and the nurse just left. The nurse didn't clean it, my aunt did. My family was called, we assumed some bad things, and it was quiet for a long time. She kept on fighting, my cousin made it that night, a cousin who is also a nurse (which is why she wasn't there earlier, she was nursing somewhere else). When she was there, she took charge and fixed just about everything the best she could. I wasn't there, I went home for a break, so I don't know too much, but she made sure the nurse on the next shift was good by telling her what she should be doing, and by helping out a lot herself. My gramma made it through the whole day. When I came back, I learned she was in such bad shape, that she basically won't wake up, so they basically put her through comfort care, and started to give her 8 mg of Morphine every hour so she wouldn't be in any pain.
With my gramma having fought for so long, we all felt less concerned, and confident she would last another day. With that said, most of my family left for their own breaks, and my sister's friend came to visit. She was going to go out to eat with my sister and her boyfriend, while my 2 aunts and I watched over my gramma. Literally seconds before she left, my gramma started having pauses in her breathing patterns, and started to pass. She stopped breathing, and eventually died while I held her hand.
My gramma fought through and made it through for 4 days.
[/spoiler]

tl;dr My gramma was in pain in a hospital, passed away not even 12 hours ago. Possibly because of the poopty care of a hospital she went to, or maybe because it was her time...
But she did well, first day, she moved her head when you spoke to her (seeming like she wanted to respond), every day she often squeezed people's hands, wiggled her toes when you tickled her, opened her eyes when you mad her off (they often changed her position on the bed so she would continue to be comfortable, she made a "stop moving me around you jackass" type of look, though I don't think she could actually see).
We also ended up making an inside joke, "I'm not a doctor, but..."


I don't know why I told this much of the story, I also explained it pretty badly, but I'm tired, mad and sad, maybe I needed to vent a bit or something, but IDK, whatever.
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Dude .

Silverhawk79

That was the most depressing and enraging thing I've read in a while. It's really unfortunate the nurses didn't have a clue what they were doing...I dread the day I have to go to a hospital for any reason, just because that often happens.
I'm really sorry for your loss, too. I'm wondering if she might have possibly recovered a bit if the staff had a clue what they were actually doing, and y'know, listened to the people who knew her best.

SkyMyl

My condolences about the loss of a loved one, Jr. Can't help but wonder what the outcome would've been like if the nurses knew what they were doing.

Doodle

I'm really sorry, man.
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on March 30, 2011, 09:44:48 AM
That was the most depressing and enraging thing I've read in a while. It's really unfortunate the nurses didn't have a clue what they were doing...I dread the day I have to go to a hospital for any reason, just because that often happens.
I'm really sorry for your loss, too. I'm wondering if she might have possibly recovered a bit if the staff had a clue what they were actually doing, and y'know, listened to the people who knew her best.
And basically this.
YEAH

JrDude

That's not even the whole story.
But thank you guys, it means a lot.
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Dude .

Zero

I was expecting a bel air ending but darn bro, sorry this happened.

Good luck

The Seventh

Holy poop...I am sorry to hear this.  I can totally understand your pain...talk about some poor decisions on the end of the nurses.  Quite frankly, I'd lose it if I was in your position.
meh

Kayo

Sorry to hear about this man. I grew up with my grandmother too... she lived with me when I was very little and was a parent to me when my real parents weren't.

And my other grandmother... well, she died at the hands of doctors thanks to a mistake in surgery. I was only like 6 or 7 at the time so I didn't think too much of it (I was still sad) but if it happened now I definitely would have lost it.

I can feel your pain, since I often wonder what it would be like if my grandmother's surgery went alright... she'd probably be alive today. But this isn't about me. My love goes out to you and your family <3
I really hate how I've made more than 12,000 posts here. Thankfully this swaying, moving Chandelure makes it all worth it.
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phatyo