Another Idea. Give feedback please

[Timmy0591]

CreamSoda82 (12:58:54 AM): No, I wanna start one. With a bunch of people to write seperate chapters
Timmy0591 (12:59:04 AM): Im not a good writer
Timmy0591 (12:59:12 AM): but I do have ideas for some stories
CreamSoda82 (1:00:11 AM): Like?
Timmy0591 (1:00:23 AM): Hmm
Timmy0591 (1:00:25 AM): Well
Timmy0591 (1:00:28 AM): never told anyone this
Timmy0591 (1:01:01 AM): Ok
Timmy0591 (1:01:02 AM): So
Timmy0591 (1:01:09 AM): Theres this one guy, lets say his name is John
Timmy0591 (1:01:57 AM): John is strugling to feed his family right? But he doesnt have a job, and he needs to do something. So he steals food...He gets caught
Timmy0591 (1:02:02 AM): Hold up
Timmy0591 (1:02:04 AM): let me explain this first
Timmy0591 (1:02:14 AM): This story takes place in a small village
Timmy0591 (1:03:10 AM): and theres a huge city, which is in need of more resources, so they are invading neighbooring villages and whatnot for it. Turns out, where John lives is a HUGE gold mine
Timmy0591 (1:03:18 AM): So what does the city do? colonize
Timmy0591 (1:03:21 AM): So anyways
Timmy0591 (1:03:32 AM): John steals the food, and gets caught by one of the gaurds
Timmy0591 (1:04:30 AM): Hes then sent to prison, and as punishment he is suppose to mine the gold. The gaurds treat him like poop, and then comes in the general of the colonization expidition poop. So he come, kicks some dirt in johns face, (I'm not going into detail about what he does yet) and John retailiates back
Timmy0591 (1:04:46 AM): So as a punishment, the general kills johns family that hes living with
Timmy0591 (1:04:58 AM): And then he was sentenced for hanging the next day
Timmy0591 (1:05:40 AM): So the next day John is being walked out of the mine when he hits one of the gaurds holding him and then punches the other one out cold. He then goes to a different village and lays low.
Timmy0591 (1:06:10 AM): There he almost drinks himself to death due to the loss of his family, until this guy comes in, i see him as this rough cowboy sort of figure
Timmy0591 (1:06:16 AM): kind of personality like jack Sparrow
Timmy0591 (1:06:35 AM): so anyways, Hes lookin for John, hes got a picture of his
Timmy0591 (1:07:06 AM): Originally, This guy that meets John is a hitman, of some sort..
Timmy0591 (1:07:48 AM): But John wants revenge on the general, but he knows he cant do it alone, so he tells the guy he'll give him double the money for a hit if he helps him kill the general
Timmy0591 (1:08:49 AM): Eventually, the gold mine is running low so the general goes back to the city where his palace is, or whatever...So Its up to John and the other guy to get over there/
Timmy0591 (1:08:53 AM): That sums it up a little bit
Timmy0591 (1:08:56 AM): what do you think?
CreamSoda82 (1:09:13 AM): That actually sounds pretty cool.


Sorry its in AIM. But you get the idea. :P