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The Rise, Reign, and Fall of NS2 TF2: A History of the First Server War

Started by Abstract Art, August 05, 2009, 11:39:12 AM

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Abstract Art

When mankind reaches its twilight, it will look back upon the annals of history and recall many atrocities and horrors. The inquisition, the decimation of the Congo, The Holocaust. But none of these stains on the collective soul of mankind will ever rival the single blackest day in mankind's history.

The day that the one known to man simply as Kireek decided to create a TF2 server.

It was the dawn of the second age of NSider TF2, several weeks after the Fall of Vaatix, high king of NSFCD. Vaatix had passed on his crown to Totla, and a decree had been announced throughout the lands that a new Parliament, a high council consisting almost exclusively of members of the NSFCD forum, had been formed.

It was the aim of this new Parliament to focus on the needs and desires of those on the NSFCD forum who played TF2, seeing as how it was they who paid the server costs. As innocent as this seemed, Totla and his Parliament were seemingly unaware of the definite power vacuum that the combined stress of this decision, the departure of Vaatix, and the general feelings of entitlement that the NS2 TF2 playerbase felt, had created. Sensing that the iron was hot and the time to strike was now, Kireek created his own server, creatively dubbed the "NS2 Official TF2 Server."

With a brutally effective rallying cry of "We aren't raiding your server!", the NS2 TF2 high command quickly lured in the unwashed, uneducated masses of the NS2 TF2 population. Totla and the Parliament were forced onto the defensive, and not even a resurgent NSFCD could defeat Kireek in open battle.

The landscape was bleak. Old memes and Justice micspam filled the air. The water was not fit to drink and idiocy became a way of life.

The Age of NSider2 Team Fortress 2 had begun.

From atop his throne, Emperor Kireek lorded over the NS2 Official TF2 server. With his faithful manservant DDantas enforcing his iron will and his best friend, the rather unattractive Empress Artemis, demanding that all attention in the land be given to her, Kireek was now the undisputed master of TF2.

His unceasing campaign had all but destroyed the NSF TF2 server playerbase, and Kireek was confident that victory over King Totla and the NSF kingdom would be imminent. However, conflicts over the ownership of the Holy Land of ctf_wtf had risen between the two servers, and although direly outnumbered, NSF fought
ferociously to maintain their ownership of the map, amidst the many cries of "lol its a map we can use it if we want" from the NS2 userbase. Totla's ally, Abstract Art, lent her considerable knowledge of law to the NSF server, and soon after, the tide of the war began to turn. Emperor Kireek, finding himself in dire straights, surrendered ctf_wtf to the forces of King Totla, and thus was NS2's first major defeat in the war. Publicly, the NS2 high council declared that the loss of ctf_wtf wasn't a concern at all, and that they were happy that their chosen people could finally play the game in peace, however, privately, it was well known that NS2 was furious over losing anything to NSFCD.

Things went from bad to worse when the idea of a scrimmage match between the forces of NS2 and NSF was suggested. As the time for map selection grew nigh, King Totla became more vocal on the NS2 TF2 thread, and it became publicly known that he had chosen Dustbowl as a map for the scrimmage. However, the professional TF2 players of NS2, such as Kachi and Dr. Jones, veterans of hundreds of scrimmages, declared that suggesting a map on which NS2 couldn't turtle with a team of Engineers once they began to lose was blasphemy. A cry of "DUSTBOWL IN A ****ING SCRIM" grew louder throughout the NS2 lands, and DDantas, the true mastermind behind Kireek's puppet regime, declared this war cry a new, yet unfunny, meme.

Totla, frustrated with the general ignorance of NS2, first lashed out towards Empress Artemis and then declared that he was leaving the Internet, never to return, a decision that lasted all of one week. Empress Artemis took advantage of this situation by attempting to garner more attention, as usual, by flaunting the fact that she was female, and once again, NS2 reigned supreme.

However, all was not well in the NS2 TF2 empire. With many of the NSF TF2 players refusing to associate with NS2, and the lure of Phantasy Star Online and Starcraft drawing regulars away from their TF2 server, both NS2 and NSF were firmly entrenched in a war in which both of their servers were constantly empty.

DDantas and Kireek had placed their trust in the nefarious Get Thee To a Shrubbery, who struck down all opposition to NS2 with his mighty critsaw and incessant whining. The high council of NS2 grew increasingly paranoid, executing anyone who dare spoke out against their generally awful playerbase.

Prince Sean of the kingdom of The Rest of Us had begun to try and form his own empire, however small his own TF2 server may have been. Realizing that NS2 could no longer defeat both NSF and TRoU, DDantas was forced to inform Kireek that a large majority of the NS2 TF2 playerbase had surrendered to NSF and while talks of a server merger had begun, any hope of relief for the High Council was now gone. Before retiring to his quarters, DDantas advised Kireek to flee the smoldering ruins of his server.

Within a week, NS2 and NSF were no longer at war, although animosity between the two groups still remained. Kireek's fate was unknown for weeks, although it was later revealed that he had successfully avoided being captured by NSF forces during the final hours of the fall of the NS2 Official TF2 Server. DDantas soon left the Internet forever after the war was over. He was unwilling to live in a world
in which hilarious YouTube videos such as HEAVY IS COW would not be appreciated. Get Thee To A Shrubbery was tried for crimes against heterosexuality but was soon acquitted because no one really cared about him. Artemis, Empress of the NS2 Empire, was later trampled to death by a rioting crowd at a Hannah Montana concert while trying to garner attention for herself.


Another story for another day.

DDantas


Tsumaru



Totla


CriticalDesign

Quote from: Abstract Art on August 05, 2009, 11:39:12 AMa large majority of the NS2 TF2 playerbase had surrendered to NSF

HEY GUYS, THE AMERICANS ARE BAD AND KOREA IS THE BIGGEST EMPIRE IN THE WORLD

burninglink



Sylvur

A++ would read again. I laughed, I cried, I realized I'm on the gosh darn interwebs.

I haven't read a fanfic like this since the first time I dealt with forum dramu. Good job!

Totla

Quote from: Sylvur on August 05, 2009, 12:34:46 PM
A++ would read again. I laughed, I cried, I realized I'm on the gosh darn interwebs.

I haven't read a fanfic like this since the first time I dealt with forum dramu. Good job!
I'm sorry, I'm just having a really hard time believing you're anything older than 13, much less 19.

Sylvur

Quote from: Tortilla on August 05, 2009, 12:53:14 PM
I'm sorry, I'm just having a really hard time believing you're anything older than 13, much less 19.
18, dear. College starting in about two weeks. <3 What. Would you like my driver's license as proof or something silly like that?

Totla

Quote from: Sylvur on August 05, 2009, 12:56:13 PM
18, dear. College starting in about two weeks. <3 What. Would you like my driver's license as proof or something silly like that?
DDantas told me 19, not my fault.
It's just I'm surprised at the lack of maturity you show, for someone who's supposedly been through a lot of drama and also someone of your age.

CriticalDesign

Quote from: Tortilla on August 05, 2009, 01:00:04 PM
DDantas told me 19, not my fault.
It's just I'm surprised at the lack of maturity you show, for someone who's supposedly been through a lot of drama and also someone of your age.
You got trolled without even being targeted.

Sylvur

Oh, burn. It comes from finding some sort of twisted entertainment from drama, I suppose. But really. 18 year olds? Mature? Fffffffahahahahaha. Best thing I've heard so far. Might even top "Empress Artemis".

Tsumaru

Well, shouldn't you at least try to be mature?

The difference in maturity between most NSF users and most NS2 users is like night and day, I swear.

CriticalDesign

Quote from: Tsumaru on August 05, 2009, 01:05:42 PM
Well, shouldn't you at least try to be mature?

The difference in maturity between most NSF users and most NS2 users is like night and day, I swear.
It is said that one can only be mature when they are able to deal with another's immaturity.